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Training and Placement

The climate in Kharagpur is cooling down, winter is coming here my friend. But there are smolders inside our campus, the Campus placement scenario is heating up in IIT Kharagpur these days. Many companies have started their pre-placement talks (PPTs) and quite a few have already started doling out pre-placement offers (PPOs).

The skies which are already getting rather congested with all the airlines, sick airlines, soon-to-be-launched airlines and Twitter users are getting murkier and this should be of concern. The new lot, leaving aside the chirping freaks from twitter, are getting a bit unruly, don't get me wrong, by this new lot I mean the different students who received their offers who are getting used to float around on their "cloud 9"s.

The others who haven't yet been lucky are all still looking towards the sky 24/7 to know where each of their limits are. Hope that there is some small wobbly-dibbly little cloud with my name on it!

Everything else is fine.

Not exactly though, the other day I came across something funny. I noticed the latest notice that was put up in our TnP notice board. Here is a screenshot of the placement notice board, don't you think somethings funny?

Yes it is indeed, your eyes aren't mistaken, go ahead, they even seem to have a few pretty "exciting job profiles" on offer.

What were they offering? Below is a copy of their letter:

Ours is an institution that truly believes in "think local, act local" and our actions since the time we have been conceived have been in this direction to achieve our various goals, which you might have already been fairly well educated through the media, ofcourse. We have always held West Bengal in a special place in our heart as well as our minds. Likewise, we always maintained a peaceful presence as the local government could neither oppose us nor support us. Quite a quandary they found themselves in. We also have a wonderful network that can extend into Nepal and China through this state. We underline the importance of this state to stress about the importance that we have given to your highly reputable institute. In line with this reasoning of ours and the recent unfurling of events, where we could have a whole town within our grasp for a few days, and then the rajdhani and other many specialized activities that we could undertake with such success, we would like to offer three different positions to your students:

The Preacher - We know that you guys suck in all forms of writing, but we saw some of your inter-hall dramatics competitions, atleast the students can print-distribute and enact street plays and eke out a living out of that. Also the availability of considerable expertise has been observed in social-networking sites, anyone can do well with a little bit of online chatter, ask Obama.

The Bollywood-Tollywood Liaison  - Chemical and Mechanical Engineers wanted. Need to work out how the movie directors could blow up vehicles with such apparent ease. We could do with a little bit more understanding.

The Agricultural Engineer - finding out new ways to grow weed.

The Thinkers - Students from CS and ECE are particularly desired. Job profile includes sitting in corners and thinking without any distractions about what to think for all the time which we are going make available for this post. This is important as all the thinking required by the organization will be done by this set of erudite individuals who will be given unrestricted mind-space to think about anything they want as long as they just keep thinking. Procrastinators from other departments might also want to apply. We would like to receive a portfolio of pictures in your different thinking moods and postures beforehand. Enough weed will be supplied during the written test and personal thinking-view for these individuals.

Birdmen - Preferably Aeronautical Engineers. Daedalus made it possible and Icarus tried it centuries ago, we want to do it now. We are not so naive, we believe that history tends to repeat itself, so we would rather try flying with wax wings in much lower altitudes. We do not need any material science graduates, as we have already got hordes of A1-quality wax from the forest that we control(whom are we kidding, we do control a major chunk of India, though no one seems to accept it!). 

We have one of the best corporate cultures around and depending upon the potential of an individual, they can quickly rise through the ranks of the technical team to even host attacks on any body under the sun. Our cause provides cover for any and every opposition that can be mustered. More on that later.

This is a piece of fiction. This is not intended to hurt anyone's feelings. Take it with a pinch of salt or sugar or sugar substitute. Whichever one you prefer best.

6 comments to “ Training and Placement ”

  1. Karthik says:

    Lol.. this was funny. :D
    I started reading it seriously only to find an unalloyed humour later. :-)
    Agricultural engineers are supposed to find ways to grow weed?? "P
    Very nice post! Enjoyed it.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I am surprised! How come there are no comments here???

    This was superb...It was great fun to read and the writing style is one of a kind :~)I didn't expect the CPI(M) thing at all and it was brilliant!

    Birdmen & Aeronautical engineers, Preacehrs, Chemical and mechanical engineers-bollywood-tollywood liasion,Ece,Agricultural engineers-weed growers...Lol you left none :~P

    Hey I do wish there is a big wobbly-dibbly cute cloud with your name :~)

  1. you've been linked..

  1. Mural! says:

    @guys, thnx :)

    @sivarchana well even if there is none, I would like to make one for myself :P

  1. Anonymous says:

    I know you are capable of that and much more!
    All the best :)

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