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Fool








This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 9; the ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy. - George Orwell, Animal Farm.

Chapter 1
With rolling hills and lush green fields peppered with wide banyans and tall ashokas with a fair sprinkling of peepul trees, the city can never offer this kind of solitude or the gleeful happiness that fills one up in the close vicinity of nature like the countryside. But, Mooorti was not like others, he always believed that he was not one who follows the herd. He had heard about great misdeeds, and he always felt that he had to do something about them.






Operation White Flood is considered to be one of the biggest successes of the country, it has decreased foul-play, put the power of business back to the people who really work and produce. “Red Cow Milk” is one such product that was an offshoot of this wonderful success. Don’t get me wrong, “Red Cow Milk” is neither red in color nor got from red cows, this is the very unimaginative name of a largely successful co-operative dairy which owes its existence to the model of milk delivery developed during the OWF. It had set up its operations recently in CowCatta and is supplying milk owing to the lately achieved but yet fast development of the MoosCow city.
One day a milk van was passing by a field with two cows. They watch it pass by and then:
Cow 1: Is it really true that their milk is much more nutritious than our milk?
Cow 2: I f it is so? Why are they still keeping us here and sucking the life out of us every day?
Cow 1: I don’t know, but I am glad to atleast get something to eat every day. Hi my name is Moooli.
Cow 2: You call this something? This is the best fodder that I could get since I have been a calf and lived with my mother at the zamindar’s home. My name is Cowmooodi.
Moooli: Isn’t it? I guess it’s worth it, also isn’t Mooorti really something? I have never seen a bull with such grandeur.
Cowmooodi: Yes he is. But he always seems to be distracted and forlorn.
Moooli & Cowmooodi: Moooooooooo! Isn’t that Mooorti! Why is he running behind that van!!
Moooli, Cowmooodi & many other cows: Mooooooooooorteeee! Moooooooooooooorteeee!! Mooooooooooooooooo
Chapter 2
I’ve had enough of these stories, 
I need to find Mcdonald.
Who is this guy? 
who kills us in cold blood!
I though he had a farm,
where the animals were happy,
not that he meant harm
and become all bones’ snappy.
I used to have three friends
who were sent to McDonald’s farm
only to see their ends
while their udders were still warm
{Old McDonald had a farm
eeeeya eeeya oh
Old McDonald had a farm
eeeya eeeya ooh
The farm is full of pigs, 
here a grunt, there a grunt
a grunt, grunt, grunt here and there
The farm is full ducks,
here a quack, there a quack,
a quack, quack, quack here and there} 
chimed the simple milk van
as it danced along past the farm
What do I hear now!
I need to go find the farm!
and Mooorti got going behind the “Red Cow Milk”‘s van......
Chapter 3
"Muhahahaha yesssssss, Yessss. I am nearly therrrrreeee. The world is going to see what I can dooooo. Yesssssssss. I have been able to create the Ultimate Weapon v17.3. It has taken me a long time. My friends have dessserted meeee, my colleagues have berated and made fun offff meeeeee. But all that is nooo morrrrrrrreeee. Yessssssss.
69 tries and finallly I am here. My baby, you are going to make your daddy so prrrouuudd.
I can blow up anything I wanttttt. Oooh how much money I can makkkkkkkkke! Every rogue outfit out there would want one of theeeeeeesssssse.
The alchemists of the ancient world could also not create such a thingy, you beautiful little wooogiie wushy thangy thing. (keeps on kissing the Ultimate Weapon v17.3)
Who could havvve bellllieved me! A water bommmmmmmmmb with the capacity of a hundred dynamites! Only upon seeeeerious chemical checking can anyone find out its formulaaaaaaaahhhh! Ofcoursssssssse I tooo need to do that, the amount that I have now is enough only for 5 mini nukeeessssssss, but I have to quickly find out the formula to make more! What a surprisingly wonderful accident it was!"
Chapter 4
“This is RawMeat reporting. He did it Sir. The steaks are set. I am sorry even I did not expect him to at all devise such a thing and that too this quickly. Sorry Sir, I should have. Yes, I understand the gravity of the situation. No Sir, I don’t want to eat shit. Yes I will make sure that the bomb is defused and that he is silenced.”
RawMeat started following BurpMooer, who just devised the Ultimate Bomb v17.3 as he got out of his room in MoosCow. BurpMooer was elated and on cloud 9. He started feeling that all the birds were chirping for him, and the summer sun was out bright, shiny and singing for him. The sweet smell of the grass was wafting across, the trees were in blossom, the butterflies were playing out there and the dragon flies were having fun. Life looked excellent. “Too bad I have with me something which can end the same life for many others, Muhahahahhaha!” quipped BurpMooer a bit too loudly and the passerby hearing the laugh thought that what a big class loser this fellow is.
Chapter 5
Mooorti got exhausted, the wailing animal would not stop at all. “What a strange kind of animal!” he thought, “it doesn’t even need water.”
There is no trace of any water, many animals were zooming by making strange noises, Mooorti could not get out of the road and he was fully surprised with what he was seeing on the road. As you see, Mooorti who was a thorough village-bred saw very few of the vehicles and it all seemed pretty confusing and a bit scary to him.
A pack of dogs started barking at him and he was getting irritated at them. “Wow! Holy Cow!! Holy Cow!! Bow Wow.” their leader quipped and yapped. “I am not a cow you bumbling idiot”, grunted back Mooorti and trudged along. The dogs were irritating him and he was feeling hungry, but there was no grass anywhere, so he dragged along down the road. “Wow. What are you doind here. Bow. Bow Wow.” the leader still pressed on. “I’m on my way to find this McDonald guy and shut down his farm! He has killed enough of my friends” snorted Mooorti with increasing rage and a slight hysterical edge. “Whoa! as you say brother! Go along!” barked the dog and the pack left disturbing the bull with their utterly noisy barks.
He saw that the traffic started increasing along with increasing noises which were turning him crazy. Mooorti was nearing the city of MoosCow after half a day of scampering along the road. He was totally spent and was slowly pushing along while ruminating the sweet grass of his own farm from back home. “Don’t think about it. I need to make sure that justice is done.”, thunk the bull.
Chapter 6
He was running now, BurpMooer didn’t expect that the Government knew what he was doing. Yes, he did used to shout around at his colleagues about his work, but that was because, no one seemed to believe him or in fact care about his existence. “Oh! but why did I do all that!!” thought BurpMooer as he was panting due to the extreme physical exertion on his body from all the running he was doing to escape that Government agent.
He jumped on to an auto and shouted out loud to take him to the Town Square. “Alas! It has come down to this! But I have got to do what I have got to do. I am going to blow up this city, no one acknowledged my existence here anyway and also that is better than to waste away in the gallows”.
RawMeat who heard the crazy scientist shouting Square immediately understood what might happen and became very frightened, “What should I do! Run away from the city? Atleast then I will be alive and he will be dead and there will be no more problem with the formula of the bomb. I am very sure that no one else has seen that formula. But wait, what if he will not blow up the city seeing that I am not chasing him anymore? He might then try to escape to sell the formula. Shit! I need to go after him now!”
Chapter 7 
Mooorti was moo-ing continuously now. He mooed about his old farm. He mooed about what he is going to tell McDonald as he is charging into him to finish him off. He mooed about how he hated this city and the noise here. Slowly the streets started becoming more and more dense and congested when he finally stopped to have a drink of water from a nearby puddle. “What a strange looking water”, he thought as he sipped it slowly.
“Mommy, I want to eat Maha Mac today at McDonalds” started an unruly kid wailing and flaying his hands at his mothers face.
“McDonalds! McDonalds!!” perked Mooorti and immediately started charging in the direction the small kid was pointing to when he threw the tantrum. Suddenly the city became silent. Everyone turned and some people started shouting and started running about in the commotion. Mooorti did not care, he somehow felt that he was in the vicinity of  his nemesis, and this is the only way he can finish him off.
Chapter 8
“Aaaah! What a good hamburger thesssssse guys make”, thought BurpMooer, “Nothing like a nicccccce final lunnnnnnnch”. He saw that the agent fell far behind and he also knew that it will be very difficult for the agent to find him in these crowds, with such confident thoughts he lazily ate about looking at the crowds, “I am going to finisssssssh you allllll offfffff. Muhahahahahaha!”, he laughed again frightening the young kid at the nearby table making him cry and making his mother swear at him. With such a lazy confidence he finished his burger and came out stretching his hands, Good Morning and Good bye Mooscow he blurted aloud with a wide fanatical grin that he could not hide, when suddenly, “Oh what the!”.
Chapter 9
 “Yes sir the threat has been neutralized. Don’t worry about the minor explosion at the Town Square, there have been no extra casualities, just a bull and that devil of a man. Thank you Sir, yes Sir, I suppose, I don’t need to eat any shit for now. Oh, Thank You. Yes Sir, I am on that, I will submit the report. I am starting to work on it immediately.”
That evening at a bar, RawMeat was pretty shaken up, he called out his friend Botulisconi and over a couple of drinks started narrating the events until the point where he reached the TownSquare, when his hands became a bit wobbly, “I never thought I was going to make it in time to stop that fellow, he saw me and was widely grinning at me shouting out some gibberish, which I could not make out over the distance and the rushing crowd. I thought that my time was up and instead of running to stop him, my feet froze to the ground and I started thinking about my wife, parents, childhood, my whole life in no particular order, when suddenly out of the crowd came a big bull barging into BurpMooer finishing him off and setting of the bomb. What seemed like a sense of relief immediately turned into a hollow dread of an impending explosion, but somehow apart from a small pop no other sound came. Did you know that only he and the bull died, and no one else was even injured. I found that he hadn’t yet arranged the charge to set up an explosion. Isn’t that strange?”   


THE END
















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24 comments to “ Fool ”

  1. Lengthy but a nice post.

  1. Its good..but a little too long..All the best!

  1. ARJuna says:

    Sarcasm and humoooooor at its best! Kudos to you. Best of luck for BATOM

  1. Chetan says:

    you write very well, and the way you described the things is wonderful

    a good read at the end

  1. @ Mural

    Wow...that was so funny...loved almost all thechapters...and that song old mc donald...ehhehe....cows milk...humor...hehhhe...and those names...mooli...so sweet!Liked your post!

    Thankyou for commenting to my post and for those lovely words!
    Indeed you got a beautiful blog:)

    ~Keep the Spark Alive..

  1. geeta says:

    It was fun reading it though it was lengthy...It was good...
    All the Best for BAT 9

  1. S* says:

    *Laughs out loud*
    Mooli? Moooorti? The bull that sets out to get McDonald! Awesome! ( I did get the irony part here. Made it even more awesome!)
    Thanks for commenting on my blog!

  1. Hello Man! Seeing your blog after many days. Nice lay out.
    And a big 'Wow..' to this post.

    --Ritheesh

  1. Mural! says:

    @KrishnaChaitanya @RahulAmigo @Geeta thanks for taking time to read though you found the story long, and thanks also for the kind words.

    @Arjuna I am very glad that you could sense the feeling I was striving for, while writing the post. I was very happy to see your coment, as it shows that this attempt has not been futile :) A very big thank you for that comment!

    @Chetan thank you very much, I was trying to run the story in two different track and literally collide them at the end ;)

  1. Mural! says:

    @Rachana it was one of the songs I learnt in my kindergarten :D You made my day with such a lovely comment, feels very good when somebody likes especially after putting in some effort :)

    @Sadhana excellent, I was hoping somebody will notice :D did you know that MacD was involved in a PR-mess in NewDelhi in 2005 for serving beef in its hamburgers.......I started out to use that as my plotline, a lively bull versus MacD ;) One of the few commenters who had lifted up my spirits!

    @Ritheesh Doooood! how are you! I am surprised you came by my blog, this was my first attempt at a light hearted humor-laden piece.....after two fictional pieces with dark undertones. Thanks a lot for dropping by and commenting, do keep visiting :)

    Thanks a lot you guys once again :)

  1. vEnKy says:

    You have this habit of extending the words to longgggggg dont ya? I felt the story was ok bu the length too much for my liking. If i was blunt i am sorry, beause i dont mince my words

  1. Hey Murli(got it riht this time)... really nice one...loved the poem in the middle of it the best... good work all the best for BAT! :)

    Cheers!
    Tavish

  1. M S says:

    Good one Mulli...! You are ON...mate...!!
    the mac D idea is just satirically...apt !
    don worry about the length....as long as you maitain the flash !!

  1. nil says:

    Absolutely LOVED the sarcasm. And yes the humour.
    Loved the read!

  1. Mural! says:

    @Venky don't be, it never is wrong to be critical, it might even offer me further insight about what is considered good and what is not by different ppl, in the end we are all different ppl with different likes and dislikes...

    @Tavish thanks

    @Aativas :)

    @Seenubava thanks!! yes i did take up those words of wisdom seriously and not compromising on quality for the sake of lesser words :)

    @nilanjana thanks for the kind words, made me feel very good

  1. :) :)
    That's one interesting take on the topic. The plot of the story, names of the characters, places... creative and fun. :)
    Cheers and all the best for BAT-9. :)

  1. Chinmay says:

    hahahahahaha....!!! "a fight for bovine freedom" is it?? :P
    AWESOME... did you really write this?? :O :O :O
    superb creativity with enough sarcasm..!!!
    Well, I cannot expect less form the guy who introduced me to H2G2 and "mostly harmless"..!! But seeeeeeriously..!! you've grown..!! :P :P
    Have you been practicing sarcasm??! :P :P

    All in all a good post... As soon as i read this i remembered the "cows wid guns" song.. :D

    Best of luck and have a great blogging ahead Mr junior Douglas Adams.. or should I say George Orwell..!! :P

    "A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools"
    -- Douglas Adams
    And I think that you really have understood the ingenuity of the fools..! :P

  1. Karthik says:

    Long undi mama and lil wierd ....i find stephen hawking boring...u r tending to him..... dude...smaller post next time...please...its my request :) ... if it aint were so lenghty ...i would hav given it a 4star rating ...

  1. The Fool says:

    Very innovative stuff - In fact the most innovative on this Blogaton. I really like it when people try out these kind of fantasy/satire themes. But I felt the narrative could have been more attentive to details. It was really amazing in parts - the overall idea, the names, the poem, the cow dialogues etc. But somehow I felt it was not so well knit and you did not take the effort to think out the whole fantasy world as to say what does traffic mean in cow world, does the world have only cows or both cows and humans, how they interact etc. This is my view point from view of an ardent reader of all kinds of fantasy including satirical fantasies.

    By the way thanks for reading and commenting on my Blaton post. You seem to be one of the rare ones who seem to have really liked my poem. I am glad you liked my post and thanks for your kind words. I had really put my heart and soul into writing that one and words like these is what keep me going.

  1. tushar says:

    Nice one Murali...... good humor and sarcasm...keep writing!!

  1. Dreamer says:

    a good post man!!! keep blogging..... and experimenting too!

  1. Mural! says:

    @Shilpa thanks!! thinking about it was fun too!!

    @Chin that song was indeed in the back of my mind while I wrote this piece, tried to make it atleast a bit as interesting as that song :P Wow! your words seem to lift me a few centimetres of the ground.....Wow! :P

    @Karthik jealousy raa jealousy :P :D

  1. Mural! says:

    @TheFool I am glad to know your thoughts about the post.........very valuable for someone who is trying to experiment with various writing styles just for fun! I will keep them in mind when I attempt my next piece, a big THANK YOU!!

    @Tushar dude! you read!! and then commented :P!! what more can I want in this life :P

    @Wunnava thanks amma, thanks a lot for putting up with such a big post :)

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