#87 Bewilderment
3 days ago
She was looking perfect, like an angel from heaven. The woman she was looking at. The woman in the mirror, herself. She just finished adjusting the kajal and the tilak on her face. She was wiping the kajal, she must be happy because this was the day that many girls long for. This was the day of her wedding. Not any kind of wedding, but it had nearly half of the city as guests. Her father was not taking any chances to make this wedding forgettable in any way. Not that she can be complaining, he had been consulting her for every tiny detail too to make this wedding "her" wedding.
She liked him very much, she is not angry with him, she cannot get herself to get angry with him. He would have got the moon for her, had she asked. But still, she was unhappy, no she was more than just unhappy, she had that huge sinking feeling in her life, the feeling that one might get when they know that they had left something pass-by, something they shouldn't have done, something that they might regret their whole life just for doing what they just did. Because this was the exact predicament that she was in. Not that she loved some-one and her love was so strong that she could not leave the guy, nor is there any reason for her to hate the guy her father was hitching her to.
She liked him very much, she is not angry with him, she cannot get herself to get angry with him. He would have got the moon for her, had she asked. But still, she was unhappy, no she was more than just unhappy, she had that huge sinking feeling in her life, the feeling that one might get when they know that they had left something pass-by, something they shouldn't have done, something that they might regret their whole life just for doing what they just did. Because this was the exact predicament that she was in. Not that she loved some-one and her love was so strong that she could not leave the guy, nor is there any reason for her to hate the guy her father was hitching her to.
Love hardly ever is as clear as that. It is like a dark cloud whose shape we cannot decide as it keeps on shifting its shapes while it moves across the sky just like our feelings change as time moves on.
She had a friend, Neel, she liked him very much. She liked him so much so that, she always enquired discreetly among her friends about him, whenever she went out. But Neel was no perfect guy, he used to charm her and also irritate her, sometimes, to her bare bones. Probably this was the reason she could not decide upon her love. But Neel, Neel never showed any special interest for her, nor did he ever do anything special for her. Only time would have decided, if there would have been anything between them, when this marriage happened. Her father's best friend who lived abroad came to India and during his visit, he saw her. He asked his father, and his father, her father's dear friend made this proposal that was accepted with much happiness and glee. She could not say no, she could not get herself to say yes.
There was no reason to cry, none at all, there were no happy memories of theirs, truly theirs. But she had this deep dreadful feeling that she is leaving someone who would have been that special someone to her. Tears were welling up, though she did not want to cry. She did not want to ruin this wedding. She was not like this at first, when her father told her about the wedding, she was willing then because she was a proud girl and she thought that when Neel is not approaching her, it's better for her to get on with her life. She also had a feeling inside her that Neel would come begging for her hand, would have been a great ego-rush then. But then, that did not happen, even then she was not crying, she did not mean to cry or feel so overwhelmingly sad until even on the start of her wedding day. But with the wedding-fever catching on and seeing beaming faces all around, this deep sense of regret began to consume her.
She was sitting on the mandap, her heart began to race. Suddenly her she started fearing if she will die of heartache, because of her love for Neel. She did not know what to do. The slokas were being read, the mantras were being chanted, she started hallucinating that she was in a room full of demons shouting and jeering all around. She started sweating. Her eyes became red. But all of this were covered under the inch-thick layer of make up that was applied by the beautician. Everyone who saw her then thought that she looked a lost little duckling. "Isn't she sweet", they thought. Then something happened. Something really stunning had happened. The groom suddenly stood up. He stood up, got out of the mandap, went near his parents and cried out loud, "Enough of this!"
Epilogue:
1. He thought he liked her very much and though his friends taunted him for having an arranged marriage, he believed in the old sub-continental custom that love can be found even after marriage. He never felt anyone interesting back home anyways. It might have been out of desperation, his friends thought. But during the days leading to the marriage he met Nikki. He got to know her and liked her so much so that he proposed to Nikki right after stopping his marriage with Her.
2. She was relieved with the turn of events. She suddenly felt like she was on cloud9 after he started shouting for the marriage to stop. She supported his cause and helped their parents understand.
3. Neel was not her man. She got to know that. But she was happy, because she understood what she wanted. She went out with her father, one day, to the beach and explained to him everything. He accepted to her requests to let her live her life though rather hesitatingly.
I haven't used any names for the main protagonists. Would the story have changed, if they had any names? Or had I given some names, would the story seem different depending on the names that I might have chosen?
Like Shakespeare once said, Whats in a Name?
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Wonderful read! Narrative is awesome!
But didn't understand the significance of not using names. Well, a good experiment though.
Keep writing!